Tuesday, December 30, 2008

"Catching Up"

It has been a while since I have posted so I figured I would at least stop by and do some catching up. The Holidays are just about over and it seems that so much has happened in between.

On December 9th, I received a phone call that I pretty much knew would come eventually. It was a call letting me know that my sister had died. It was a pretty surreal experience and sometimes it still plays in my head. They never said that she died, only that she had "expired". Expired? What, like a carton of milk expired? Like a coupon expired? Expired? I don't know why that word seemed to bother me so much but it did. But I pushed past that to take care of what had to be taken care of and now she has been laid to rest.

The Holidays for me will forever be a reminder of loss. Around Thanksgiving will always remind me of the loss of my mom and now Christmas will be the marker for the loss of my sister. Holidays are sometimes emotional enough without being tied to these kinds of reminders. But alas, it will be what I make of it.

All in all there wasn't much joy for me this Holiday season although I went through the motions for my children. Still I am thankful each day that I am still here and had the chance to participate even if mentally distanced.

As tomorrow looms and marks the end of another year, I find myself in a reflective mood. I won't make resolutions but I will set goals and plan to use them to make my life more manageable. Next week school starts up again for both myself and the children. I am in no way ready to go back to that stress, but know that resisting it will only add to the stress.

January will also make me another year older and will herald one child's "Sixteenth" birthday. With that will come the desire to drive and a continuing of all the other teenage angst filled situations. Oh joy....

I am looking forward to beginning the Spring garden though. I am already receiving my seed catalogs and am contemplating how to go about this years crops. I am looking forward to that more than anything.

Overall, when I think of 2008 it has been a mixed bag for me. There have been ups, there have been LOTS of downs, but hey, it wouldn't be life if it was anything different right? But the best part is that I found a way to make it through both extremes. And as we face a new year, a new governmental administration, and a continuing declining economy, I think that making it through counts for a lot. To everyone I wish a safe and Happy New Year!! Till next time...


jp17 said...

Thank you for your update. I am immeasurably sorry for the loss of your sister and last years loss of your mother. My thoughts are with you always. Prayers and hope for the New Year.

Solitary Dancer said...

Yes the holidays due have their markers. When the marker is sad the holidays only seem to maginify the sadness.

But, pretty soon life will call you to be an active participant. School and a 16 year old. Bless your heart and hang on to your patience.

You can do it, I know you can. What else is there to do? We must do all that we can.

Oh, one more thing. You do what I do. No new year's resolutions just goals. Works better that way.

hugs to you my friend


Martha said...

Here's to a wonderful New Year filled with positive changes! Hugs!!